To Pursue Further Studies or Not?
Do I want to go back to school? Am I ready for grad school? Do I ever want to go back to school?
I'm talking about graduate school. I am assessing my position here. A part of me is trying to talk myself into going back to the academe, but it seems that 80 of me doesn't want to. At least that's how I feel right now.
If some people would make a list of pro's and con's to help them decide, well, I don't have to because I myself think that getting a degree is all pro's, all wins, no loses. What I do instead to assess the situation is ask myself questions:
I'm thinking going to school could save me, you know. I'm looking for salvation here. Maybe taking this path can lead me to where I really wanna be. If I did find that school is not where I really wanna be, then I can just quit (damnit I quit at everything!!). Seriously though, I'm the kind of person that finishes things I started. This is very reason why I don't commit easily. If I think there's something to be compromised, I back down. To me, better not start a thing if there is a big chance I won't finish it anyway. It's a good trait, however, it's the very same thing that holds me back in many things I wanted to do.
If I did start try graduate school, there is nothing to lose, as I said. None, except money, which is a major consideration by the way. Tuition fee is expensive. A part of me is saying I could just use the tuition money to buy a new SLR or computer, or anything that makes me happy, even if it's just temporary. Because I'm a fickle-minded impulsive little shit.
I'm turning 25 next month, and I feel so old and unaccomplished. When I got employed, I thought of getting another degree, or a Master' degree while working, but I managed to convinced myself to give me some time away from the academe, and just enjoy independence. I gave myself a deadline, however, that when I turn 25, I would go back to school. But those idle years only buried the already small interest in pursuing another degree. I am so lost. This quarter life crisis shit is never ending.
I'm talking about graduate school. I am assessing my position here. A part of me is trying to talk myself into going back to the academe, but it seems that 80 of me doesn't want to. At least that's how I feel right now.
If some people would make a list of pro's and con's to help them decide, well, I don't have to because I myself think that getting a degree is all pro's, all wins, no loses. What I do instead to assess the situation is ask myself questions:
Did I ever enjoy going to school?I'm thinking maybe if I get myself back to school, I will find my mojo back, because these days, I'm lazy at everything. When I say everything, I really mean everything. I even turn down invitations to hang with friends on weekends. Most days, I prefer to just stay home. I even have to force myself to go to the groceries when I ran out of supplies. I'm just...I've become extremely lazy. I can't even leave work because I am too lazy to go to interviews. What have become of me, I am so fucked up.
What is it that made school enjoyable?
What did you hate about going to school?
What are the things you dread about being a student?
Why would I go back to school?
What will I gain if I go back to school?
Why would you not go back to school?
What will you get instead if you don't go back to school?
I'm thinking going to school could save me, you know. I'm looking for salvation here. Maybe taking this path can lead me to where I really wanna be. If I did find that school is not where I really wanna be, then I can just quit (damnit I quit at everything!!). Seriously though, I'm the kind of person that finishes things I started. This is very reason why I don't commit easily. If I think there's something to be compromised, I back down. To me, better not start a thing if there is a big chance I won't finish it anyway. It's a good trait, however, it's the very same thing that holds me back in many things I wanted to do.
If I did start try graduate school, there is nothing to lose, as I said. None, except money, which is a major consideration by the way. Tuition fee is expensive. A part of me is saying I could just use the tuition money to buy a new SLR or computer, or anything that makes me happy, even if it's just temporary. Because I'm a fickle-minded impulsive little shit.
I'm turning 25 next month, and I feel so old and unaccomplished. When I got employed, I thought of getting another degree, or a Master' degree while working, but I managed to convinced myself to give me some time away from the academe, and just enjoy independence. I gave myself a deadline, however, that when I turn 25, I would go back to school. But those idle years only buried the already small interest in pursuing another degree. I am so lost. This quarter life crisis shit is never ending.
